Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
