Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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