is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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