Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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