i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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