two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
