HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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