I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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