I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
