Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
