Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
