I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
