I got chris browned last night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
