Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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