marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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