STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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