false alarm. still invincible.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
