I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
