i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
