thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
