its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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