I just pynch a tree in the face
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nobody cheats on THIS.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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