I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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