Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i out mim tonsoeep
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