Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
