sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
