the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
