I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
