I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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