guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
