Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize