Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney