I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"