I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT