I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
