He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
