No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
