Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
