I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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