Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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(806): View more from Texas

my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

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(916): View more from California

Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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(701): View more from North Dakota

two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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(503): View more from Oregon

And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.

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(650): View more from California

In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.

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