it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.