I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god