I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
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For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.