I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES