i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
