is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
