Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
