Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
