What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
