Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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