If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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