She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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