that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
