if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
