If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize