my mouth tastes like poor choices
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
