another moral hangover. fuck.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
