i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
