well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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