I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
