My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
