I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
