chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
