Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
