you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
