R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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